In those final weeks of pregnancy, it feels like the whole world is on pins and needles, just waiting to rush in and meet your baby as soon as they arrive. I totally get that as a Buena Park Newborn Photographer and a mom of 2 of my own and 2 surrogate babies.
But what if that’s not what you want?
What if, instead, you’re yearning for some quiet, private time with your newborn? It’s okay to want that, and it’s okay to say ‘no’ to visitors.
When I had my first baby, I thought I needed to let everyone in right away, and I was also only 18 years old . I didn’t want to offend anyone or seem ungrateful for their love and excitement. But I remember sitting on the couch, sore, exhausted, trying to nurse, and just feeling overwhelmed by all the company. By baby number two (11 years later), I did it differently—I set clearer boundaries ahead of time. I asked for a few days just for us, and wow, it made such a difference. I felt more present, more rested, and honestly, more bonded with my baby. That quiet space was exactly what I needed.
In this blog post, we’ll dive into why it’s important to prioritize your needs, how to set loving boundaries, and what alternatives you can offer to your eager friends and family.
So, you can enjoy those first precious moments with your baby, just the way you want.
It’s Okay to Prioritize Your Needs
First off, let’s bust the myth: saying ‘no’ to visitors doesn’t make you a bad host or an ungrateful family member. It makes you a mom who’s prioritizing her and her baby’s needs.
Remember, this time is about recovery, both physically and emotionally. If you just want your mom or your sister, that’s ok too.
After my first delivery, I felt so much pressure to be “on” for guests. I was barely sleeping and looking back, I wish I’d said no and given myself permission to fully rest. With my second, I created a “no visitors for the first 5 days” boundary and it changed everything. I felt more connected, less stressed, and honestly, more like myself.
Health Comes First
With a newborn, health is paramount. Limiting visitors can be a health decision too. Newborns have delicate immune systems, and it’s okay to want to minimize exposure to germs.
Our pediatrician actually encouraged us to limit visitors for the first two weeks, especially during cold and flu season. She said to remind loved ones that even mild symptoms in an adult can be risky for a newborn. We also left a little note on the front door asking anyone who wasn’t feeling 100% to reschedule their visit that small step made it easier to stick to our boundaries.
Bonding Time is Precious
The early days with your baby are irreplaceable. They’re for bonding, understanding each other’s cues, and establishing a routine. Honestly, crowding these moments with visitors can disrupt this crucial bonding period.
I didn’t realize how sacred those quiet moments would be until I had them. Skin-to-skin contact, those sleepy little noises and figuring out feeding. I didn’t want to share that space, and I’m so glad I honored that instinct. Protecting that time allowed my partner and me to settle into our new rhythm without distraction, and it made us feel so much more confident as parents.
It’s About Emotional Well-being
Postpartum blues are real, and the last thing you need is the stress of entertaining. Your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical recovery.
After my first baby, I didn’t expect to feel so overwhelmed emotionally. I kept saying yes to visitors and ended up feeling drained. With my second, I said no more often and felt so much more calm and centered.
Setting Boundaries is Healthy
Setting boundaries is healthy for all relationships. It’s a way to communicate your needs respectfully. Start by having an honest conversation with potential visitors before the baby arrives. Explain that you’ll be limiting visitors and why.
Example, “I want to start by saying how grateful we are for all the love and support you’ve shown our family, especially as we welcome our new baby into the world. Your role in our baby’s life is truly cherished, and we appreciate everything you’ve done and will continue to do as he/she grows up. I’d like to have an open and honest conversation with you about something important. As a new parent, my top priority is ensuring our baby’s well-being. I’ve been learning from friends, our doctor, and our midwife about the significance of those first few days for bonding and breastfeeding which is why we won’t have visitors until baby is X days/weeks old. I want you to know that limiting visitors during this time is not a reflection of my love for you. It’s a necessary step for the health and adjustment of our family and we love you so much”
Offer Alternatives
Let your loved ones know that their support is still valued. Suggest alternative ways they can help, like dropping off meals or running errands. This lets them be involved without overwhelming you.
A friend dropped off a week’s worth of freezer meals after my second baby, and it was the most helpful gift. I didn’t have to cook or host just heat and eat. Total game-changer.
Don’t Forget the Power of Technology
Thank goodness for technology! Suggest video calls as an alternative to in-person visits. This way, everyone gets to see the baby without invading your space.
We FaceTimed grandparents during those early weeks, and it gave them that first glimpse of baby without adding pressure on us. It felt low-key and perfect.
You Can Always Change Your Mind
Finally, remember, it’s your right to change your mind. If you feel up to visitors sooner or later than expected, that’s perfectly fine.
This is your journey and your baby! Setting boundaries is not just okay; it’s necessary. And you can do so lovingly!
Looking for more mom-life tips, guidance, or stories?
Click here for Effective ways to prep your home for a new baby | Tustin Newborn Photographer
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